A Rose by any Other Name
by Minmei
Summary: Percival helps Borus with upcoming auditions for Romeo & Juliet act II scene II, specifically using methods that are not exactly conventional. Rated for a suggestive joke or two. Originally a Secret Santa gift for Speaker.


"...th-that never felt a wound. But soft, what light through yaaww-- ugh...yonder. _Yon-_der."

The actor fumbled in speech, much to Percival's amusement. Borus then lowered the script, glaring. "What?" he demanded, the word echoing faintly in the empty theater.

Percival, who was casually lounging in a chair, simply shook his head. "Ahem. Nothing. Do continue."

The blond knight paused a moment as though waiting for some other interruption. When he could safely assume that there would be none, he took a deep breath and lifted his head proudly, bellowing--

"What LIGHT through **_YON_**DER window _BREAKS_! IT IS the _EAST_, AND **_JUL_**IET IS THE S--"

"Borus, Borus," Percival cut in, his face full of disapproval. "You are admiring a lady, not subjecting her ears to torture."

Borus' face turned red. "N-no, I suppose not," he said sheepishly, bringing his arm down. "Ughh. This is harder than I thought."

"Heh." Percival scooted his chair back slightly as he stood, then made his way onto the stage. "So why are you doing it?"

"W-well...you see...that's..." Borus struggled with an explanation to no avail as his friend approached. "...that's...not important," he finally said. "What's important is that I do this."

A smirk formed on the other man's face. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Lady Chris is in the running for the role of Juliet, would it?"

"O-of _course_ not!" The blond insisted, though his strong reaction had incriminated him greatly. "Don't be ridiculous!"

"Well, that's good, because Nadir banned her from stage indefinitely after the Match Girl incident."

"_What!_" There was no longer any doubt about Borus' feelings. His eyes were huge now, displaying shock, disbelief, anger...and even despair.

Percival calmly brought a hand to his mouth. "Ha, ha, ha..."

"What's so funny!"

"I was only joking."

"W-well, it's not funny!" Realizing Percival was still chuckling, Borus gritted his teeth. "Damn it! Leave me alone."

"Relax, Swordsman of Rage," the other knight said, finally settling down. "Why don't you take it from the top? No one needs the theater until the weekend, so you've got all night to practice."

The blond man scowled but soon resumed his stage position. He placed his feet shoulder width apart, not noticing the two guests that were entering the room. Concentrating on the script, he cleared his throat and extended an arm forward. "But, soft...!" he cried out in a voice that reflected an adequate level of awe. He projected his gaze into the audience, catching a glimpse of Elaine by the door. "What light through yonder window breasts--" He realized the mistake, to his horror. "...b-breaks! _Breaks!_" It was too late, however.

While Percival broke into fresh laughter, the annoyed Elaine had a slightly different reaction. "I beg your _pardon_?"

"_I-I meant...umm...y-yonderbreaks...window..."_ While the mortified Zexen knight attempted--with little success--to save himself, the other guest walked around Elaine. It was Queen.

"Actually..." She stopped and faced the well-endowed woman, mockingly fixing her gaze on the clearly visible cleavage. "I think you had it right the first time." The comment was met with a dirty look from Elaine, and the highly amused Queen turned around to the two men. "So what are you doing anyway?" she asked. "Is this a rehearsal, or should we leave a donation or what?"

"It's...uh...it's a rehearsal..." Borus responded, recovering at last from the vocal blunder. "And a private one at that. I'm sorry, but could you please leave?"

"No can do. Geddoe and Duke are off somewhere for some bizarre reason, and the rest of us are bored out of our minds."

"Out," Borus said more firmly, pointing to the door behind them.

"All right, all right," Queen said, turning to the other woman. "Come on, Elaine. We can head over to Mamie's."

Elaine scoffed. "You can. I'm looking for Duke." With that, she exited the room.

"Whatever. Wench." Queen followed shortly afterward, briefly stopping at the door before turning her head back. "By the way, that was a pretty nervous-sounding delivery. You should relax more."

"Wh-what do _you_ know?" Borus stammered angrily, but the woman was already gone.

"She's right, actually," commented the voice to his left.

"What!"

Percival calmly held up a hand. "I'm just saying, you've got to relax."

"I'm _perfectly_ relaxed!" insisted Borus.

"Could've fooled me."

"Wh--" Borus let out a groan. "Forget it." He turned from his friend and began to stare at the script, scanning the text in apparent disbelief. "'Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek'? What mockery _is_ this? No man would speak in such a manner!"

"That's why it's fiction. It doesn't have to perfectly emulate real life."

"Well, I don't know how far I can go with a poor emulation of real life."

"Hmm." Percival thought for a moment. "If it helps, I'll play the opposite role to ease you to this acting thing."

Borus laughed scornfully. "Have you taken leave of your senses, Percival? Juliet is a woman."

"A thirteen-year-old girl to be exact," Percival replied nonchalantly, then shrugged. "You don't exactly scream Romeo to me, either. But the focus of acting is less on the performer's looks and more on his ability to be the character. So don't worry. Besides..." He walked past Borus with a devilish look, disappearing into the room that led backstage. "I'll be dressing the part, anyway!"

"Y...you can't be serious..." the other man said. He turned around, a bad feeling churning in his stomach.

"Oh, but I am!" Percival exclaimed as he drew back the curtain from the inside.

Borus looked up on the balcony in shock. There, before him, was Percival...with a large purple gown over his clothes and a long, disheveled silver wig on his head. "What on Sadie's green earth do you think you're doing?"

"Playing the--" Percival cleared his throat, continuing in falsetto. "Playing the part, dear Romeo!"

"You look ridiculous. Take that thing off."

Percival whipped a long, violet silk scarf around his neck with a dramatic sweep of the arm, exaggerating what was already a very feminine gasp. "Why, Romeo! We hardly _know_ each other!" He brought the tip of the scarf to his own nose as if to tease the other man.

Borus rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. And why the silver wig? Surely there are other choices back there!"

"Motivation." Seeing the other man's perplexed look, 'Juliet' explained, "If it's hard for you to call upon what feeling is right for the moment, you need a source of inspiration."

"And how is...you being in a dress...going to inspire me?"

"It's only a matter of time before our lovely captain graces these stage floors," Percival reminded him. "Perhaps it is difficult for you to project emotion because the object of your affections isn't present. Therefore--" He gestured to himself with a grin. "--I will substitute for that object."

Borus raised an eyebrow. "Y-you mean...you want me to pretend...that you're Lady Chris?"

"Only for the purposes of this theatrical proj--"

"No."

Percival looked disappointed. "Oh, come on--"

"No, no, **_no_**."

"Do you want the part or not?"

Borus was uneasy as always, but he reluctantly agreed after a lengthy exhalation. "...All right." He tossed a copy of the script to his friend. "Page 3. 'What man art thou.' Just be sure to--"

"What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night so stumblest on my counsel?" 'Juliet' interrupted, jumping into the scene without delay.

'Romeo' made a face at the zealous cross-dresser before mechanically following the line. "By a name I know not, um...not...how...to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is ha--"

"With more feeling," Juliet instructed.

Romeo groaned before finishing with, "My _name_, dear saint...is hateful to myself...because it is an-an enemy to thee; had I it written, I would _tear_ the word."

The leading 'lady' gave a smirk of approval before resuming. "My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words of that tongue's utterance...yet I _know_ the sound." Looking at the man intently, Juliet's apparent confusion turned to delight. "Art thou not Romeo...and a Montague?"

"N-neither, fair saint!" Romeo denied, and there was a pause--one that was natural for him, but unanticipated for the line. When he saw Juliet's expression encouraging the rest, he glanced at the text and added, "Oh...if either thee dislike."

"Oh." Juliet cast upon him a smile. "How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and...hard to climb--" 'She' glanced momentarily at imaginary space that otherwise would have been well-hidden backstage. "--and the place _death_, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here."

"With love's light wings did I over- uh, o'er-perch th--"

"More _feeling_, Romeo," Juliet said firmly. "This is the love of your life to whom you're speaking."

Romeo exhaled loudly, dramatically extending an arm as he looked upon his lady. "With _love's_ light wings did I o'er-perch these walls," he said, his voice revealing more passion as he immersed himself further into character. "For stony limits can_not_ hold love _out_!...and what love can do that dares love attempt. Therefore...err..." He briefly brought the script closer. "Therefore, thy kinsmen are no let to me!"

Juliet tilted her head slightly, her eyes reflecting concern. "If they do see thee, they will murder thee."

Romeo shook his head, finally gazing upon 'her' with great and well-focused affection. "Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than _twenty_ of their swords!" he declared heroically. Quickly approaching the balcony, he brought a hand to his chest, staring at Juliet with intensity. "Look thou but sweet, and I am _proof_ against their enmity...!"

The performance left Percival surprised, even a little impressed. "Well, well, Romeo," he teased. "Don't hold back. Tell me how you _really_ feel."

"Ohhh, my _lady_!" Borus suddenly erupted, dropping his copy of the play as he eagerly took Percival's hands in his. He did not seem to care, or even notice, that he had wandered off-script. "I beg of you, look upon me and see truth! You are the light in my life, the source of my strength! _Gladly_ would I lay down my life for yours!"

"Borus, we're not--"

"Every day I fight by your side, praying to have one more moment with you, thanking the Goddess for the existing moments! I am _proud_ to be your knight, Lady Chris! I only pray I may one day tell you of my feelings!"

Percival smirked, realizing his friend had become a bit too inspired. "And what feelings are those?"

"The feelings of the thousand men that _adore_ you!" Borus declared with great passion. For some reason, he was breathing a lot harder now. "Feelings that have resided in me for the longest time! They _plague_ my heart every day, but no longer! Today is the day I finally admit I... I-I..." He briefly faltered, looking up at the substitute as if to seek support.

Percival's expression only grew more amused as he played along. "Say it, Borus."

Borus gladly complied, tightening his hold on the other man's hands. He took a deep breath, valiantly shouting the phrase at the top of his lungs.

**_"I LOVE YOU!"_**

Not two seconds after the declaration, there was the sound of a door shutting. Borus turned in shock as Percival looked upon the unexpected guest.

Chris Lightfellow stepped forward, eyeing both men suspiciously. She looked at Percival with his dress and at Borus with his mortified expression, then back at Percival's dress and wig...as well as the firm and obvious union of the hands of both men. "...Am I interrupting something?"

"Err...!" Borus released Percival and completely turned around. "L-Lady Chris, this...isn't...what it looks like. We were just...w-we were just...!"

Percival chuckled as he removed the wig. "We were just in the middle of an impromptu dress rehearsal," he completed for his friend. "Borus was practicing his audition for the upcoming play, so I decided to help him. Was there something you needed, my lady?"

"Oh." Chris' expression relaxed. "Yes, now that you mention it. Leo, Roland and I were out training, and I wanted to see if you two would join us."

Borus avoided his captain's gaze, and he was only turning redder. "Uhh...umm...right. I'm...done, anyway."

"We'll be out as soon as we put everything away," Percival said, getting completely out of costume. He drew the curtain and eventually reappeared in the room.

The silver maiden nodded. "All right," she said before turning around. "We'll see you out there."

Borus made no move as his captain left. It was only when the door shut completely...

"Goddess..." The man hung his head, burying his face in his palm. "She must've heard. She must think of me as mad, immoral, or...worse."

"Well..." Percival placed a hand on the shoulder of his comrade. "If it's any consolation..." He drew closer and, in mock affection, leaned his head against Borus' shoulder as well. "...I love you, too."

"Oh, would you shut up?"

Chris walked down the hall, as composed and in control as a captain should be. For a moment, it seemed obvious that matters more pressing than two men's stage performance had taken hold of her mind. This was quickly disproved, however, when she reached the end of the hall.

It was then Lady Chris broke into hysterical laughter. 


End file.
